Refire!…Remotivate!

Boring-Exciting

On a recent plane ride across country, I began to read the book Refire! Make the Rest of Your Life The Best of Your Life by Ken Blanchard and Morton Shaevitz. What stood out for me halfway through the book is refiring is about embracing a different perspective about life or a situation.  At times, we all get into ruts; doing the same thing over and over again.  No excitement!  Auto pilot!  Boringggggg….!!!!

The coaching question that came to mind after reading half the book is what is the spark (small or big) to Refire…to remotivate?  It is about doing something differently, which may mean stepping outside of a comfort zone.

Recently, I coached a client taking on a new program that will expand workforce development opportunities across a large matrix organization.  His primary challenge was how to engage and get buy-in for the new program.  He had difficulty developing an effective action plan that key stakeholders supported.  He was following the normal protocol of presenting his ideas in formal group meetings, which were ineffective.  The client was frustrated and realized he needed another approach.  Our coaching sessions lead him to Refire!  He decided to engage one-on-one with key stakeholders through verbal and written communication.  He knew he had to step outside of his comfort zone to get stakeholder buy-in.  As a result of his one-on-one interactions, he gained a different perspective and was able to meet the needs of each stakeholder.  The client embraced the challenge and saw the personal benefit of building relationships with senior leaders.  By stepping out of his comfort zone, the client built new relationships and was successful in implementing a workforce development program.

Coaches enable clients to Refire!!  It is all about embracing a different perspective and taking the courage to step outside of your comfort zone.

Are you ready to Refire?

The power of connection

My typical Friday includes going to the bank. I’m old school. I go in, and I talk to the tellers. I ask after them and their families. I get an update on a teller who was in a serious car accident, but mending well. They know my name. They greet me, even if I’m going to another window. Now, they know my daughter by name too. I have noticed over time, that , as I leave, I find myself smiling and feeling good. Why? Because I made a human connection. They remember that I recently went on college tours with my daughter. They know she’s saving up for a computer. They know I work from home. So, why did that make me smile? Because making those connections feels GOOD. The first element of Blanchard’s coaching model is all about connection. Creating connection is the ability to demonstrate that you care about and are interested in the person you are speaking with. As a coach, you must remain fully present. Ignoring or mitigating the mental distractions, and listening deeply to what the client says. Like so many coaching skills, connecting is applicable in every area of our lives. Making connections can happen anywhere. Smiling at the person behind you at the grocery store. Picking up the phone instead of sending yet another email to a colleague, looking your spouse in the eyes and really listening when you ask “how was your day”?, Staying up for a midnight chat with your teenager, and of course, the brilliant connections we make with clients. Every single one puts a smile on my face.

Think about the other guy

wallet
My brother lost his wallet last week. Turns out, he’d left it on top of his car when he drove out of a gas station in an unfamiliar town. Fortunately for him, a truck driver was on the country lane behind him. After the wallet blew off the roof, the driver retrieved the wallet and painstakingly collected all of the contents strewn across the road, and turned it in at the state police barracks.
You can imagine how my brother felt when he got the call from Trooper Bradford the next evening! What did my brother do? He took a shower, he ate his dinner, and then he went to the store and purchased a box of chocolates and a card before heading west for the (now familiar) 2 hour drive. He told the state troopers stationed at the barracks that the chocolates were a thank you for Trooper Bradford—and with a wink, said hopefully he’ll share them. He then counted the cash in the wallet–$27 dollars. He wrote in the thank you card to the driver: “When Trooper Bradford called me to say the wallet had been turned in, he recounted how he’d told you you’d done a good deed, and karma would pay you back tenfold. Here is a check for $270. Don’t you wish I carried more cash?” With his wallet securely in his pocket, my brother then drove another 2 hours home.
After the stress of a lost wallet, I was surprised he was so chipper for the 4 hour round trip! I asked him about it and he reminded me that our mom has always told us to “think about the other guy,” especially when we’re feeling sorry for ourselves. My brother was filled with appreciation for both the trooper and the driver, and that really buoyed him. It’s also good to note that he took care to fortify himself before heading west.
Why am I blogging about this? Because this is a great story! Story telling connects us with one another, and I hope it transported you right into my brother’s experience. Story telling is both the art and the heart of being human. Scientifically, listening to stories engage more parts of your brain than simply reviewing facts, which is why stories have staying power (see earlier blogs on neuroscience and LPOV). Story telling matters in families, and it matters in business, too.
Next time you’re having a hard time, think about the other guy. It’s highly probable that shift in focus will improve things for BOTH of you!

Tasty Tidbits from Social Neuroscience

I got the opportunity to attend the 14th NeuroLeadership summit in San Francisco last week. So many wonderful insights from social neuroscientists about how the newest brain research is shedding light on our behaviour. A couple of nuggets for you, our faithful blog readers:

  • Brain exercises do not increase your brain power, despite what Luminosity spends on marketing. Use that time to learn a new language, develop new skills or exercise your body; your brain will reap more benefits.
  • Collaboration does often yield better problem solving and more creative decisions, but it slows things down and the best companies reserve it for special occasions, not as a default.
  • The “in group/out group” response by the brain is constant and pretty much random. This means that the brain is constantly assessing whether other people are “on our team” or “not on our team” and this effect can be created by scientists merely telling you that some people are on your team and others are not. You will instinctively see those on the other team as adversaries.
  • Understanding one’s values, articulating them, writing about them and repeating them increases emotional resilience. Not sure how or why yet, but wow, who knew? The best argument ever for engaging in our Leadership Point of View exercise.
  • One of the most robust findings about learning is that the more “spacing” is used while learning – breaking the content into small chunks and repeating it a couple of times over a period of days with sleep between times – the better. Spacing ensures that the content is encoded into long term memory. Cramming information – learning it quickly right before an exam, for example – will result in the information staying in short term memory and then disappearing. A terrific support for Blended Learning!

Who me…? I don’t need a Coach!!

Man ThinkingLet’s be real… Coaching is not for everyone! AND…I challenge anyone who believes he or she will not receive any value by working with a Professional Coach by answering the following questions:

  • Do you feel stagnant in your role?
  • Have you thought about how to get to the next level in your career?
  • Do you know how to increase your effectiveness as a ______________?
  • Do you know your greater potential and purpose?

If you answer yes to any of the above questions, I strongly believe you will benefit from partnering with a Professional Coach. A coach is skilled at creating a safe and confidential environment so you can fully discuss your goals and aspirations. A coach will help you uncover what is needed to make a change and move forward.

How often does someone take time out to work with a “thought-partner” in moving towards accomplishing personal and professional goals?

Since I am keeping it real…You will be doing the work in a coaching relationship. Self reflection is key. Being truthful with yourself (and your coach) about your behaviors and the effectiveness of them will move you toward your goals. You will experience some “aha” moments as well as some unpleasant awareness with your Coach. The ultimate goal is to increase self-awareness and intentionally decide how to move forward.

Below are questions to consider to get the most value from partnering with a coach:

  • Are you ready to self-reflect and look in the mirror?
  • Are you ready to be open and truthful?
  • Are you ready to do the work to accomplish your goals?
  • Are you ready to take the time to uncover the answers for yourself (A coach does not have the answers. A coach helps you uncover the answers.)?
  • Is the timing right for coaching?

The benefits of partnering with a coach can be very impactful and rewarding. Some benefits may be experienced several months after the coaching has ended. As stated on the International Coach Federation website (http://www.coachfederation.org/need/landing.cfm?ItemNumber=747&navItemNumber=565),

Professional coaching brings many wonderful benefits: fresh perspectives on personal challenges, enhanced decision-making skills, greater interpersonal effectiveness, and increased confidence. And, the list does not end there. Those who undertake coaching also can expect appreciable improvement in productivity, satisfaction with life and work, and the attainment of relevant goals.”

I challenge you to partner with a Coach to move toward reaching your full potential!

 

Leader of What?

Congratulations, Leader. You’ve done it! You have the title you wanted, and an amazing amount of responsibilities too. Are you ready for the big shift from managing deliverables to leading people? Because that is the heart of the matter…you really are NOT the leader of the team, or the division, or the company. You are a leader of people.
Why would anyone follow you? If I asked your direct reports, what would they answer? Do they know what you expect of them? Have you told them what they can expect from you? Do they know what you value? What have you done to earn their trust?
Engendering followership is the responsibility of the leader, not the other way around. Purposefully sharing your Leadership Point of View will accelerate the process. Over the years, this blog has discussed the steps involved in crafting the LPOV, most recently last October. Beyond the LPOV steps of “how” is the “why.”
For over fourteen years, Blanchard Coaching has supported leaders in the process of crafting their LPOVs and the impact is astonishing. Reflecting on the powerful events in your life with a coach will illuminate the essence of your perspective on leadership, and help you understand yourself better. Doing the hard work of “excavating” your LPOV, and then sharing it, accelerates trust between you and the people you lead. As a new CEO told his executive team when introducing this coaching process, “There is no better way for us to build trust than to create and share our Leadership Points of View.”
Hearing the story of why honesty matters to you, or why fairness is paramount in your life, will personalize what you value and stay with your direct reports. Personal stories stick with people in ways power points never can.
Build confidence in those you lead by revealing yourself to be an intentional leader: Create and share your Leadership Point of View.

Failing is Good

I am sure no one wants to fail. Failing is not pretty or fun. I know if I fail at something what usually follows is a feeling of disappointment and shame. The speculated thoughts of what others are thinking about me clouds my mind. I mentally beat myself up. This feeling is unpleasant and very distracting. Have you ever experienced these feelings?

Failure-imagesA66EGFIRFor example, I was coaching a senior manager who expressed she no longer wanted to continue the coaching engagement. The coaching, which I interpreted “I,” was not meeting her expectations and she needed something different. My internal voice immediately yelled, “You failed! You are not a skilled Coach! You will not have another executive assignment again! You did not meet your client’s expectation!” My internal voice was beating me up! Of course, I had to get a handle on it while speaking to my client.

As a coach, I know clients are not always open to coaching, expect the coach to be more of a consultant, and may resist action/accountability. I also know my role as a coach is to ensure clients have a clear understanding of coaching and to design the coaching relationship in the beginning. Even if I followed every detail in creating a perfect coaching relationship (note the word ‘perfect’ – nothing is perfect!) and it appears to be unsuccessful, my internal voice will tell me I failed.

I know the key is to quiet the internal negative voice and learn from the experience. In the above example, I responded to the client with questions such as “What do you need to move forward? What do I need to do differently to serve you?” During our discussion, I believe we both learned from this experience and gained increased self-awareness that will lead to professional growth.

Through my training as a coach and hearing and reading Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability, I know with confidence that one must fail to grow. One must be vulnerable and courageous knowing there will be unsuccessful times. What sets the strong from the weak are those who brush themselves off when they fall, look for the learning, and are willing to jump in again.Failure Key to Success

Note…I am being vulnerable with sharing this story. I am quieting my negative self talk about how others may be judging me as they read this blog and choosing to think about how my story may help others. I am brushing myself off and jumping in.