OK – one last thought because my husband, Scott Blanchard, made a remark on this topic that I think is worth sharing. He is the one who introduced me to the Charles and Edie Seashore book (What Did You Say? The Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback, 1992, Bingham House Books) and knows about as much about feedback as anyone. He said “ultimately, if a person is not open to receiving feedback, it doesn’t really matter what you say, at best it will go unheard, and at worst it will damage the relationship.
Knowing this, if it important to you to give feedback, you may want to be sure that you surround yourself with people, and hire for, the capacity to learn, grow and receive feedback. You might even ask behavioral interview questions like “tell me about a time that you changed as a result of feedback you received?”
In the meantime, since we can only really change ourselves, you might ask yourself the same question.