I recently had a call from a coaching client who had just gone through a new experience very successfully. She’s just breaking into speaking, and she had completed her first paid speech. At the end of it, many people came up to her and thanked her for the content. She was pleased. But, when she got into the car to drive home with a family member, the family member shared two very minor areas for improvement. Very minor areas.
As my client was driving home, and for the rest of the day, what did she focus on? You guessed it….she focused on the “negative” feedback. Just like you and I would do.
When we connected at 5.00pm, she was still in self flagellation mode.
Isn’t it sad how easily we move to the negative place? This client is a great example. She’s a very accomplished person who spent endless hours preparing for the presentation, who delivered it beautifully, who received many positive comments. Yet, she easily slipped into a negative attitude.
When we talked that evening, our spontaneous coaching session was more of a refocusing session – refocusing on all the positives that had taken place. We looked at how much she had done to be ready to deliver paid presentations. We looked at what’s ahead in future talks. And we reframed the “negative” family member into a positive gift that kept her ego in check and gave her some valuable input.
When we left the call, she was in a much better place, and I had reminded both of us that even though we can’t control all the circumstances or what others say to us, we can choose our attitude.