Never Underestimate the Effect of Change

I recently shared a laugh with a client – we’ll call him Jon – because as he so eloquently said, “You just can’t win.” Here’s what happened.

Jon, by profession an accountant, is head of tax for a global manufacturing company. A lovely human being, he is nevertheless analytical and cerebral, and a 360-degree feedback process revealed that his people perceived him to be cold and unapproachable.

We worked together on practicing some new behaviors: making the effort to get to know folks, stopping to say hello to people in his area – all of whom report to people who report to him.

He worked on and shared his Leadership Point of View (his beliefs about leadership and his leadership values) which his people told him made him much more accessible.

Jon was really enjoying letting people see a little more of him, he was having more fun at work, he was literally wondering what took him so long to experience this very important side of himself.

You would think this could only be good right?

I certainly did.

3D Hand Giving Thumbs DownBut, you can never underestimate the power of change, even good change, to distress someone. Not everyone was thrilled with the change. One of Jon’s direct reports, Emilia, asked for a private meeting during which she reported that she was upset with this new softer, friendlier Jon.

He was shocked – of all people he had thought she would appreciate it the most.

It turns out that she was enjoying the change for herself, but she was worried that Jon’s new accessibility was “undermining” her position with her direct reports. She was concerned that people might feel comfortable going straight to Jon instead of having to get things done through her.

Of course this presented a great coaching opportunity for Jon. But we had to laugh…I had thought in 25 years of coaching that I had heard everything, but this was a first.

The Power of Observational Feedback

By Linda Miller, MCC

When you think about giving feedback, what’s your first response?  Mine is, “Do I HAVE to??”  Making observational feedback can help. Observational feedback is information that’s shared without a request for change. It’s just an observation. For example, “You seemed quieter than usual in the meeting this morning. Hope everything is ok.”  Or, “Your energy level is different, and it looks like you’re enjoying the new project.”Monkeys

Observational feedback gives information that may not be otherwise recognized by the person receiving it.  It can confirm something that’s going on or point out something new. The best observational feedback is non-judgmental and timely. It’s a data point.  Our hypothesis is that if we increase the positive and observational feedback, it will decrease the need for feedback asking for a behavior request or change.

Last week, I had the privilege of working with some very talented managers.  During one of the sessions, we asked the managers to give each other observational feedback. Here’s a response from one of the participants: “When we were giving observational feedback to each other, someone gave me some feedback that I always knew but finally heard.  I can’t wait to start applying everything that I have learned.”  That’s the power of observational feedback.  Try it. Notice what happens.

Smile!

I have often received feedback that I need to smile more.  This is not to say I’m not generally a happy person or that I’m angry all the time.  Rather, I am probably more serious of a person than I need to be which most of the time doesn’t allow me the opportunity to smile more.
Smile
On a weekend grocery shopping trip with my wife, I decided to see what it would be like to be constantly smiling as I pushed the cart through the aisles and checkout line.  I noticed a few things about myself and reactions from others.  By smiling more, I didn’t get as frustrated as I normally do with crowds or people who leave their carts in the middle of the aisle to go sample food.  Also, I found it took an incredible amount of concentration and energy to keep smiling throughout my grocery buying experience.

What I noticed from others is that they smiled back, were more polite and wanted to engage me in conversation.  My wife was also enjoying my little experiment.  She couldn’t stop smiling herself and laughing at the positive reactions I was getting from others.

What I realized from my experiment is the amount of energy and concentration it required to be fully present and focused on a task that felt unnatural to me.  However, the positive reaction I got from others far outweighed the effort on my part.

Whether coaching a client through this type of experience or encouraging yourself to try something that feels unnatural or awkward, I encourage you to go for it!  As a suggestion, during your next meal, try holding your fork in your opposite hand and see what reactions come up for you and others.

Please share your experiences and the reactions of others with us in the comment section below.  Thanks!

5 Questions to Match Your Style to Your Job

Man Working on Personal ComputerAre you a jack of all trades or are you a subject matter expert? Review the two definitions below. Think about the type of work you do now…which term best describes you in your current role?

generalist: one who has broad general knowledge and skills in several areas.
specialist: a person devoted to one particular branch of a subject or pursuit.

Some people are very passionate about having extreme task variety. They love to do a little bit of everything and get bored when focused on one thing. Others are very passionate about having a specific area of focus and being able to dedicate the majority of their time to learning and mastering that pursuit.

Now review the two definitions again. Think about the type of work you like to do…which term best describes you when you’re happiest and at your best?

If you answered the same way both times, then you’re likely on the right path. If the type of work you perform in your current role is not in alignment with how you work when you’re at your best, then it’s time to consider some changes. Analyze your current role to see if there are adjustments that can be made to position the role to better suit your style. Or, perhaps you need to consider if the solution is to find a more suitable position within the organization or elsewhere.

Begin by asking yourself some questions…

What does my ideal job role look like?
Where are the gaps between my current role and my ideal role?
How can I begin to close those gaps?
What obstacles to change am I likely to encounter?
Who can help me facilitate the changes that need to be made?

If you’ve discovered that you’re a specialist in a generalist’s role, or vice versa, preserve your sanity and increase your happiness by making the necessary changes. Navigating this type of journey can be a difficult, overwhelming adventure and you’ll need help.

Sounds like you could use a good coach.

Follow me on Twitter: @adammorris21 | Add me on Google+: gplus.to/AdamMorris21

Why Is Your Tummy So Big? (4 Factors for a Powerful Question)

(Editor's Note: This is not the author's tummy.)

(Editor’s Note: This is not the author’s tummy.)

I’ve always battled with my weight. This last year has been especially tough as I’ve had to take a break from my other career (as a prolific goal scorer in adult recreational soccer leagues) due to nagging injuries that have turned into chronic injuries. I started playing almost 30 years ago and haven’t had any significant periods away from the game until now. The wear and tear has caught up with my knees and ankles.

When you’ve got chronic pain in your knees and ankles, getting regular aerobic exercise is a challenge. It hurts to walk, let alone to go for a jog or a run. Exercise for me has always been specific to the sport I’m playing. Take away the sport and I don’t get enough exercise. Take away the exercise and my clothes fit tighter than they should be.

I’ve been telling myself that I need to do something. Yeah, tomorrow I’ll do something. Of course, tomorrow soon turns into yesterday, then last week, then last month, and here I am still sitting in my recliner. So one night while I’m sitting there with my 5-year-old son, he turns to me and asks, “Dada, why is your tummy so big?”

As soon as the words left his lips, my wife chuckled and then got embarrassed for me. I initially had a similar reaction. Kids say the darndest things…often when you least expected or are prepared for them. During my pause to think about how to respond, I realized he’d asked an incredibly powerful question. For his purposes, I used it as a teaching moment and answered it with a simple statement about the importance of a healthy diet and exercise, and that I needed to get better at both.

The answer I gave him was good enough for him, but it wasn’t good enough for me. Like most Dads, I want to be a superhero in my son’s eyes. And, I don’t want my alter-ego to be “Flabby Man.” So his question got me off the recliner and moved me into action. I did some research on local gyms and will be signing up for one this week…let the journey begin.

Upon further reflection, here are four factors that made his question so powerful:

  1. The Person Delivering the Question. There’s built in credibility. He looks up to me and I don’t want to disappoint. Most importantly, there’s an established positive relationship.
  2. It Lacked Judgement. Consider the alternative that most of us are used to hearing…“have you lost weight?” Which is roughly the equivalent of saying, “you were fat and I can’t tell if you’re any less fat than you used to be.” The best questions are those that aren’t judgmental, accusatory, or have hidden agendas. I honestly don’t know if my son loves my big tummy or is disgusted by it, he just wanted to know why it is the way it is. But…
  3. It Caused Me To Think. I was pushed to examine the factors behind the issue in question. And…
  4. It Motivated Me Into Action. After voicing the factors that led to the issue, I was motivated to consider the solutions and to act on them.

Good coaching sometimes comes when you least expect it and from those you least expect it to come from. Out of the mouths of babes.

Follow me on Twitter: @adammorris21 | Add me on Google+: gplus.to/AdamMorris21

9 Questions to Prepare You for Coaching

You’ve made the decision to hire a coach…now what?

If you want to hit the ground running, you need to help your coach understand who you are and what you hope to accomplish. The following questions can assist you in being better prepared to begin your coaching journey. Share your answers with your coach so that your coach is able to adjust her approach to one that is best suited to your style and needs. Your answers to these questions will allow your coach to better help you in gaining further clarity on your goals and to help you achieve them faster.

  • What do you want from your coaching experience?
  • If you could achieve something spectacular out of the coaching what would it be?
  • What causes you to perform at your best?
  • What would you like to tell your coach about you and how you make changes?
  • How have people successfully given you feedback about potential blind spots?
  • What could get in the way of a successful coaching experience?
  • What advice do you have for your coach about how to interact with you to make the relationship powerful and productive?
  • How will you know that the coaching process is working for you?
  • What is the first step you could take that would make the greatest difference in your current situation?

Coaches, what questions would you add to this list?

Follow me on Twitter: @adammorris21 | Add me on Google+: gplus.to/AdamMorris21

Who Is My Audience?

I recently saw a well-known company’s new ad campaign for the first time. And while I thought it was creative and well-executed, I couldn’t help but think that it likely wouldn’t resonate with 75% of their target audience. And while that in itself is a big problem, a bigger problem came to mind…not only would the campaign likely not resonate with that large and substantial majority of their audience, but it might actually offend or push some of them away altogether.

Obviously, I doubt pushing existing or potential clients away is that company’s intent. However, it reminds us of a very important question we all need to ask at times…
“who is my audience?”

Whether you’re an organization unleashing a new ad campaign or a leader trying to influence a call to action, it’s important to know and understand your audience. You might have the greatest idea in the world but if you aren’t able to pitch it in a way that appeals to your audience, then it becomes a wasted effort.

Leadership is about influence. And in order to influence, you must be able to connect with your audience. Once you’ve identified your audience, consider their demographic profile to make sure you’re connecting on a relatable level. Try to identify potential problems with your approach up front so that you can correct ahead of time. If you think your message could possibly alienate or offend a portion of your audience, stop and adjust.

The next time you find your leadership influence isn’t influencing, stop and ask yourself, “who is my audience?”

Can you think of a time where your message wasn’t effective, or you got into trouble, because you weren’t in tune with your audience?

Follow me on Twitter: @adammorris21 | Add me on Google+: gplus.to/AdamMorris21